i haz a happy

i started writing a post then deleted it all, once i got it out it didn't sound right so it's gone

what i really want to say is that at the end of the day I'm feeling good!

damn good as a matter of fact

i'm getting stuff done around the house and it makes me feel accomplished, like what i'm doing is important and it is in my world :)

i've got other projects bouncing around my head that I want to do but haven't found a way of getting them started just yet, doesn't mean they won't happen

the concept of a bucket list has really been playing on my mind and just today I read a blog post which mentioned the author wanting to do the uni course she should have done. YES! me too! though what course that is exactly in my case I don't know but i know it wasn't what i did.

anyway I just wanted to report that I'm feeling all fluttery and happy and positive and it feels great. I want to do stuff... no, scrap that I want to do more stuff than i've already done

a question of politeness

a quick question...

the birthday season will soon be upon us, I am organising invitations for Little Miss' 5th birthday (yes 5! don't ask me where the time went), this year we will be throwing her a real party with real kids at a local play centre that does everything for you (lazy me but I wasn't keen on a whole lot of people I didn't really know in my house)... up until now they have just been family do's since we just didn't know any kids to invite.

Little Miss needless to say is beside herself which is awesome

I have a list of names from her Kindy class and a couple of others that we see every so often on play dates but my question is...

Do we invite a kid whose 3rd birthday LM went to in January?

I ask because:

a) inviting him would mean inviting his older sister (LM's age) and younger brother @ $20 a pop, inviting one and not the others just wouldn't work

b) we have not seen the family since this little boy's party

c) Little Miss would have no idea who they were if she bumped into them on the street let alone turned up at her party

Common sense would dictate that no you wouldn't but I feel a bit bad not reciprocating and feel like the mum could become a bit snippy if she saw we had a party and didn't invite her kids. By seeing we had a party, I mean she is a "friend" on facebook and unless I didn't mention it at all on there which I can't see myself doing (or not doing... I'm confusing myself) she would be bound to see it and she is the type of person to get her nose out of joint about things like that, hell she got her knickers in a knot because no one left any comments on photos of her daughters first day of kindy so I'm guessing this would tick her off.

Guess I have to work out whether I can live with her being ticked off or not....

I reckon I could but still want your opinion or rather need you to tell me it's ok :/

yep things have definitely changed

and for the better

you know that feeling you get that things are on the move in your life... I've had that for a while... definitely since Poss was born so that makes it for at least 8 months

I find myself looking at things very differently, if I want something done, I can't wait around for someone else to do it...

the perfect example of this is our house... at the beginning of this year there was much talk of sprucing the place up for future sale...

then life got in the way

Hubby registered his business and got stuck into that as well as his full time work and other associated commitments

Family always keeps us busy and we wouldn't have it any other way

But we did get a couple of things done...

A new oven and hotplate installed

New cupboard handles for the kitchen

Finally enough towel rails for the bathroom!!!

Replaced our ceiling fan... after 2 years of it only working on the lowest setting

New washing machine (though this was because our oldie finally carked it)

When you write it all down like this, it looks halfway decent but this is what we've done in the last 6 / 7 months, not exactly flogging ourselves getting things ship shape are we?

What will really make the place feel fresh and *new* is a paint job. When we first bought the house (7 years ago) it had been freshly painted with a sunny yellow which grew on me after the initial shock of it's vibrancy wore off. And it went quite well with our furniture so really no reason to complain or change the colour scheme.

Now the yellow is looking extraordinarily tired, walls are scuffed, marked and chipped and the place needs a real lift.

The big change that's come over me is that I feel confident enough now to take action on things like this. Painting is not rocket science, there's no reason why Hubby should do it instead of me and the more time I can give him (outside of family time which is not negotiable) to develop his business will benefit all of us. So why not?

I started in the loo, figuring it was the smallest room in the house.... not considering all the fiddly bits around the cistern etc I'd have to do which made things tricky but I did it! Last week I did the hallway when Little Miss was at Kindy and Poss in childcare.

It's school holidays now so the painting might have to go on the back burner for a couple of weeks as I won't be kid free as much as usual. But I've done enough of the house to force me to keep going so it doesn't look like a patchwork quilt. Yellow does not tie in well with the cool neutral colours I've chosen!

I'm pretty proud of myself and the change in me to say the least and I plan on taking on more...

Yay Me :)

change

it's kind of dawned of me in more recent weeks / months that I'm not the shishyboo that first started this blog

many of the insecurities and gripes I more than often expressed here no longer apply; of the insecurities... I've overcome them (not all but many) and of the gripes... griping does not bring about a resolution so I've learned to either tackle the important issues in a more effective manner and recognise the not so important stuff for what it is and not waste my precious time.

I'm in a good place right now and I'm trying to choose the path of least resistance.

Things are not always easy...

Hubby's business venture has introduced a new stress to our lives...

And there's other sad things going on within the extended family...

Family life is exhausting and frustrating at times...

I'm finding a balance (most of the time) and it's working out well... most of the time life is extraordinary and very rewarding. I certainly can't complain about the odd little hiccup (but the old shish probably would have ;)

So this leaves me wondering... what do you think dwindling readership? do I give this blog away? start anew? or retire altogether?

I'm thinking if I started all over again, I might refrain from talking about family so much... I have a family website and of the few readers/ friends that were interested I could direct you there for family news or if you were so inclined we could connect on facebook

i would be interested in what any of you thought... let me know?

thanks for stopping by x x x

the body doesn't lie

it all started when the whole family came down with some kind of bug... it wasn't the usual cold and flu malady this was fevers, aches and generally feeling like crap.

Hubby copped the tail end of my cold from the previous week as well and was not a happy camper. He went to see his doc, more so to organise a sick certificate for work than anything else as with these bugs you just seem to have to ride it out instead of dosing up on stuff that doesn't work.

I suppose because he doesn't see the doctor all that often when he does go in the doc likes to give him a general once over... that and he is overweight and that leads to all kinds of risks that one does not like to think about...

This time doc decided to do a full blood count, blood sugar, cholesterol etc. Hubby said to me he had a funny feeling his blood glucose wasn't good having experienced many of the symptoms and guess what? no it wasn't

Like I said it's not something we have wanted to think about, largely because diabetes & heart disease are quite prominent in both of our families. We've known the risks but had adopted the piss weak attitude of live it up and then deal with it when it comes.

It's not like we don't know the rules, we've both studied nutrition... we've just chosen not to follow them and therefore we have no excuse.

Doc's first plan of attack is for Hubby to lose weight and he is confident that his sugar levels will level out without need for medication as a result.

It was the wake up call we needed...

I am certain that I was headed down the same track so it is time for me to change too. I definitely could stand to lose some weight and it is easier to do these things as a family than fight against the current.

But rather than go all in, deprive ourselves until we crack and blow any of the good work we've achieved out of the water we're taking the slow but steady path

That is to say, introducing small dietary changes to start with. Not buying all the treats I usually kept in the cupboard, if we want one we have to take the trouble to go out especially for it which often makes us think twice. Later down the track more changes will be needed to continue the weight loss but we're looking at adopting habits that we can keep up for the rest of our lives rather than achieve a massive Biggest Loser result in a short period of time.

It's been a couple of weeks now and it hasn't been as harrowing as i feared, I still have a small chocolaty treat every now and then to keep me and everyone around me sane. Seriously the first few days without chocolate were hard (after having such a dependency on it...I confess to buying a family block of Cadbury's every few days) and I was like a bear with a sore head. Now i am OK without as much of it

And we've both already seen the benefits of our small lifestyle changes, in kilos as well as an increased feeling of well being.

We even snuck away down south just the 2 of us for a night and enjoyed a few treats and were surprised at how much easier it was to enjoy just a little rather than a lot like we would have previously.

So here's to improving our health and living long and fulfilling lives :)

PS I haven't talked about exercise..... I have not adopted any habits in that department.... yet. I do however walk down to drop off and collect Little Miss from Kindergarten and am looking for ways to increase my daily incidental exercise.... any ideas would be greatly appreciated x

time is short, explanations are long

my enthusiasm for blogging has been lack lustre of late.... stating the obvious aren't I? I'm on the PC a lot but not blogging.... FaceBook is one culprit
lengthy email chats back and forth throughout the day with friends is another

still busy at home

Poss is amazing, doing everything she should. The colic is gone and she's sleeping through the night now!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
The family timetable has stepped up a notch with Little Miss in Kindy 2 days a week and swimming classes and now calisthenics thrown in.

The Twilight series of books by Stephenie Meyer has drawn me back into reading in a big way, I finished the last book "Breaking Dawn" last week. I've had many discussions with matey, Michelle about the series already and as my post title suggests... I don't want to get into a huge discussion about my thoughts on it all, though it is a favourite topic of mine... here is my take in brief...

Loved the Cullen family.... huge crush on Edward
I wanted more from Bella's character, there were times i just wanted to slap her!
Loved the whole idea of the story
Writing in some ways felt a little amateur-ish and i wasn't keen on the first person perspective simply because I wanted more insight into the other characters.
And the last book wrapped everything up into too tidier package for my liking
Despite my criticisms, I enjoyed it


Just watched Twilight the film and enjoyed that too, Edward might not have looked quite like I (& from what I've read many others) pictured him to be but Rob Pattison had the mannerisms and expressions down pat. I still could have slapped Bella at times though. I loved Alice in the film and Jasper kind of pleasantly surprised me... never really had a mental picture of him from the book but I liked how he looked frustrated and hungry all the time.

Now on to other things...

Hubby & I went to see The Phantom of the Opera last month.... It was awesome, we had front row centre seats which was doubly awesome as I could see ALL the detail of makeup and costumes and the chandelier swung out right over the top of us!!! But being a little further back would have offered a more overall perspective of what was happening on stage and would have been good too. And now I see what all the fuss is about Anthony Warlow... amazing singer / actor!!!

Have just started organising a trip to South Australia for June... The Travelling Baby Show V2.0 My dad has not yet seen Poss and Hubby's Grandparents are desperate to see her and Little Miss as well. Have already had conflict with mother about it all... dealt with it a little better this time... you'd be proud :) but deep down she hasn't truly changed / grown up... more's the pity
Still it's a trip we need to do, Grandad is very frail and it may be the last opportunity to spend time with him, we hope to see Hubby's aunt as well, she is in the last stages of breast cancer but she has taken a recent turn for the worse....
This time we're trying hard not to commit ourselves to too much in an effort to not wear ourselves out... we'll see

On a more personal note... shish has decided to pursue a different form of writing in a bid to satisfy her need to do something creative... its early days and may not amount to much but that isn't the point.... if you're good i might tell you more later down the track

Oh and PS i never heard anything more about that job... no surprises there. i do wonder however if she actually ended up choosing anyone for the position... something tells me possibly not

Job Update

never have i come across a more disorganised, confusing and frustrating job application process

i rang the store again today in a brave moment

the woman is back from holidays

she was conducting an interview at the time I called and the lady i spoke to told me that there had been an error in the advertising and applications weren't meant to close till the 27th Feb

.....

hang on.....


just had a revelation

after my interview the woman told me she was making a decision in the following couple of days

huh...

guess she didn't like me enough (or the others she interviewed around the same time) or she wouldn't continue to interview after her holiday

*sigh* i get it now

anyway I left a message for her (prior to this moment of clarity) saying i was still keen on the job and gave my phone number.... bit pointless now but there you go

obviously theres no pleasing this woman

UPDATE:
just saw the job advertised in the community newspaper again, doesn't say previous applicants need not apply though

it could be the truth about the wrong date going in but she got 120 written responses from the first ad, surely there would be SOMEBODY (like me!) that she liked!?! at least liked enough to give a trial run?

i really get the feeling that she can't decide / get her act together, it's bizarre. why would someone create so much extra work for themselves?

breezing in & out

blink and you might miss me... sorry 'bout that

it all boils down to the usual culprit... busy, busy, busy

so i will be brief (-ish)

Little Miss started Kindy last week, she loves it, I love that she loves it and I love the extra bit of time i have to myself... even if Poss is in tow... she's not one for trouble

And Baby Poss is doing everything she should be doing, the paediatrician was very happy with her progress and said unless we had any major concerns there really wasn't any reason for future follow ups with him. And she smiles now... lovely big gummy grins and sometimes "talks" to me... just little gurgles to get my attention, fills me up with joy *sigh*. Oh and she sleeps SO. MUCH. BETTER. now, almost the whole night. What a relief! now I just need to wind down enough to take advantage of it.

on the job front... er funny story
well not really, a mite confusing perhaps
.... the interview went beautifully, she told me outright she loved my letter and after chatting a while (it was really a very pleasant conversation) she showed me around, explaining many of their procedures, gave me rates of pay, told me about their Christmas party and bonus at the end of the year...

And she said she intended making a decision in the following couple of days...

sounds promising yes?
I thought so

I didn't hear back on the Thursday or Friday and after much encouragement from friends and much heartache from not knowing (in fact almost panicking about not hearing... I really had my heart set on this job) I rang the store on the Monday... prepared to hear what I didn't want to hear but thinking it would be a good opportunity to gain some constructive criticism in order to improve myself...

what i wasn't prepared for was to hear that the owner had not made her decision and had gone on holiday... in my relief I forgot to ask how long she would be away for

so it's been 2 weeks now, i am assuming she is still away. I am largely over the panic i felt about being rejected, easy to do when you think you might still be in with a chance so maybe i'll panic all over again in the next week or so. For now I'm am trying to resign myself to waiting, I know she's returning to Uni so she possibly has given herself until the end of February to decide. It's a funny way to have gone about advertising for a position and then leave it all up in the air like this, certainly not the way i would have done things. And to be fair she did tell me in the interview she had been overwhelmed by the response to her ad... 120 written applications plus countless phone enquiries!!! Guess I was fortunate to have stood out enough to get an interview in the first place.

I'm waiting but not thinking about it (trying not to)... that's really what i mean... though i've completely buggered up by rehashing the strange saga here

Let's just say, I'm hopeful but understand as the time ticks by my chances become less and less. I keep half an eye out in the papers etc for anything else that might pop up... in case this really wasn't for me because something better was on it's way but I'm not really in the market for a job. I only applied for this one because it seemed to tick all my boxes.

Rest assured I will let you know if anything else comes to light in the matter *wink*

when the ground comes rushing up to meet you

life is careening past my eyes at a phenomenal pace

there's not enough time to fit in all i want to do but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't enjoying myself... even with the small hiccups punctuating my life

i had my birthday last week.... i'm 35!!!! it was a lovely day, spent with MY lovely and much loved people and i got all sorts of good wishes from even more lovely people from all over the place

my Little Miss isn't quite so little anymore... she starts kindy next week, i was chatting with another mum whose daughter will be in the same class and it suddenly hit home, after looking forward to it for so long, I got a little choked up. Still she (LM) is destined for great things and i can't hold her back.

I APPLIED FOR A JOB!!!!!!!

I KNOW!!!!!

ME!!!

A JOB!!!!

I happened upon the ad in the community newspaper and decided that THAT was my job. I felt ready and took the plunge, dropped off my resume the next day (completely shitting myself with nerves but I did it)
A casual in a local book exchange... 12.5 hours per week
Applications closed today so I hope to hear something soon


I have discovered the world of Twilight...
OMG!!!! I love it and I had no idea how MUCH I would love it (and for what reasons!!!)
I'm holding out to finish the book before i see the film and I've broken a shish record in reading, almost finished the first book in a week... seriously that's a huge deal for me

The kitchen is beginning to take shape, cook top in & electrician booked for Thursday. Hubby has resized the hole for the new oven and now that it's sitting in there, it's easy to see how much of a lift it gives the room.

My de-cluttering has taken a back seat for the moment... that's ok...

Sleep deprivation still exists in varying degrees... some of it self inflicted... Twilight... say no more

Feeling a bit of a hard arse, clamping down on Little Miss' 'tude. The talking back is really starting to get to me.

But we're getting there and I have a smile on my face


UPDATE:
just got a phone call...

from the book store....

I have an interview at 12:30pm tomorrow!!!!!!!

better late than never

Happy New Year to you all


if i had the time or the inclination I'd write a 2008 wrap up post but i don't though I am still thinking about doing something about Poss' birth etc.... a little more detail on exactly what happened but again it's finding the time and being in the right mood for it.


instead i'm finding that I'm looking more towards the future and the exciting possibilities that 2009 holds for me and my little tribe


we (Hubby and myself) have decided that this year is the year we concentrate on getting our home up to scratch and sale-ready. there will come a time when we will want to move house... something substantially bigger and we want to be ready should we chance upon the ideal home and have to put this place on the market


i've already started on a declutter mission... thanks to Oprah and her mate, Peter Walsh. So far I've concentrated on our room and have chucked out heaps, sold stuff on eBay and given bags of clothes to charity. I've been really ruthless this time with my clothes, figuring if I lose weight then I'll want new clothes not fit into stuff that's eons old (even if they still look good)


we've bought a new oven, cook top and range hood which will be installed in the next few weeks and I'm keen to look at what alternatives we have to freshen up the kitchen. Paint obviously but i'm thinking maybe new cupboard doors and re tile too if we can manage it.

the garden will get an overhaul as well, nothing over the top... we just aim to get it tidy and green

i looked at houses online today and that got me all the more excited, you get quite a bit for your dollar in our area at the moment. and talking to my mate, J (property mogul extraordinaire) fills me full of confidence and enthusiasm to make it all happen.

on other fronts...

buying a new house will more than likely mean a return to work for me also but as much as I'd like to stay at home and do the mum thing indefinitely, it doesn't seem such a bad prospect to me anymore

Poss is doing fabulously, she's 11 weeks now and is putting on weight beautifully. Her colic is improving YAY!!!! we still have some bad nights but not like before. she's starting to show signs of being more aware of her surrounds too and it's so fun to watch her discover things. can't wait to see her discover her hands :) no true smiles yet but i expect they should come in the next few weeks, technically she's only 3 weeks old ATM


my cherub just loves to snuggle in and sleep with anyone who will sit still long enough. she's so cute i could just eat her :P

we're getting a little more regular sleep now, not as much as we'd like but sufficient to soldier on

Little Miss has been a handful off and on, she's maturing and her understanding of things is growing at a rate of knots and we have had many tantrums as well as great conversations as a result. Bring on Kindy where she can have a constructive outlet (and I can have 2 days "off" so to speak)

Oh and Hubby has just registered his coffee roasting business, his ultimate goal is to eventually leave his current work and pursue this full time. At the moment he has some loyal regulars and plans to build from there to become a coffee roasting magnate :)

and that's me (& mine).... would love to hear what your new year plans are
shish x

ho ho ho

all i wanted for Christmas this year was some decent sleep.... poor little Poss has colic bad, we may or may not have turned a corner recently where she has slept a few nights for about 5 hours allowing us to do the same but it is still intermittent so i won't commit myself completely to that statement... my heart bleeds for her and I wish i could take her pain away.

it's 9 weeks to the day today that Poss arrived and other than the colic nightmare things are going well. It would be nice to feel more organised and to have the house looking marginally better than the bombsite it is at the moment but i guess that will come in time.

yes sleep would be nice, with Christmas upon us catching up on the zzz's has been hard and i must admit when i've had the opportunity sometimes I've used the time to read and maintain a bit of my precious *me* activity time. I'm not going to be so silly as to deny myself this time.

So how was your chrissy? ours was good, we didn't take an awful lot of responsibility this year and left much of it up to MIL (BTW she volunteered herself so don't think too poorly of us). I was careful not to volunteer myself in case it wasn't possible to deliver, fruit mince pies didn't get made this year though i did bake some shortbread one afternoon in a rare moment of quiet.

Gift wise I was spoilt once again by Hubby and my girls. I received yet more TOWELS (i had promised Hubby if I got any more this year I would scream and made good on that promise last night) and sheets from MIL. Man it would be nice at least to choose the colour of the damn things but seriously I have enough towels to outfit a small hotel just from MIL's input! the sheets are fine except for the colour so maybe an exchange is possible but it's very tempting to return the towels or do the re-gift thing???

Selfish came up with yet another gem really she never ceases to amaze me. It hadn't occurred to me that she and LB#1 hadn't bought Poss a present, in fact if Selfish hadn't mentioned it I wouldn't have noticed. But she did... saying if I was wondering why they didn't get her a gift (no I wasn't but now that you point it out...) she had figured that Poss was too young to know or care so didn't bother. In reply I said (light heartedly but meaning every word) that I would let Poss know when she was old enough that her Aunt and Uncle owe her a pressie. Hubby said later when I told him that we'd just keep that it mind when they have kiddies.

Things that make you go hmmmm... huh?

Anyway truly i'm relieved that it's all over, all that build up and stress and for what? Nah we actually had a nice day yesterday but i am glad it's only once a year

Well now that i've touched base, I shall choof... might spend a bit of kid free tv time... such a novelty these days

take care x

my homecoming queen

it's been a long time between drinks huh?

I shouldn't apologise but I feel like I need to, so sorry to those of you who haven't completely given up on me.

Thanks for the comments and warm fuzzies, they mean a lot :)

The big news is that little Poss has been home for 2 weeks now, her home coming was quite sudden. We rocked up on a Friday at the Neonatal ward to have the midwife telling us that Poss had had enough of her naso-gastric tube and was demanding to be fed. As in FEED ME NOW!!!

With that the Paediatrician said we could go into mother-crafting the next day and then take our baby home the day after that. I could have just about popped with excitement!

It was great timing, my mum was flying over that weekend for a week's visit (which went well, she seems to have done some growing of her own) and it was much easier to be at home for some real quality time as opposed to running back and forth to the hospital.

Mum was a great help, she did a lot around the house (she confesses she did more than she would do at home) and it made the adjustment a bit easier.

Hubby is back at work for the time being and since mum left last weekend it's been a bit hard to get enough sleep. Hubby helps as much as he can during the night, but if he's on early morning shift it's unreasonable to ask him to get up to feed Poss obviously. That means there are some nights where I'm lucky to get 4 hours sleep with little chance to catch up during the day.

Poss has been going great since coming home, she's putting on weight, her little cheeks are starting to chub up nicely and she's reasonably easy going. One significant difference we have noticed in her compared to Little Miss is that she suffers a lot of gastric pain. And when she suffers we all suffer. No one can blame her when it obviously hurts so much.

I have wondered whether it's her iron medication so we've suspended it for a while to see the difference (on the docs advice), I've looked at things I might be eating that could possibly go through to her breast milk but it's pretty inconclusive. The health nurse has suggested that it's more likely that her gut is still very immature and her pain will ease as she grows.

The only thing we've found that helps even if it's for just a little while is a nice warm bath and massage just before bed time. Hell I'd be relaxed enough to sleep well after that too (if I were so lucky *sigh*)

Today I must confess I'm having a bad time of it, I'm tired and grouchy and have no patience for all the little things that wouldn't normally bug me so much around the house. Little Miss understandably feels the difference now that we've brought Poss home, I've tried hard to keep things on an even keel for her but today it's been near impossible. Her new mode of whining and mess after I've just tidied up really got to me and I confess to losing my cool more than once.

I feel bad but also like I don't have the strength to prevent myself from doing it. My two precious girls and I'm letting them down.

To amplify my tetchiness, Hubby has been to several Xmas functions over the last few days as well as working. Don't get me wrong he deserves the break and they're not things I could have gone to even if I'd wanted to. I'm needing a break too is all.

Still it will get better.... I just have to keep telling myself that

groundhog day

at least that's what my life feels like at the moment... not that I'm complaining, not really... I'm just a tad on the tired side

I've been trying to think of a pseudonym for the newest addition to our family, it's just not coming to me that easily. I'm still trying not to call her by Little Miss' name in real life, let's blame that on placenta head syndrome. So for now let's just refer to her as... as... gawd this is harder than I thought.... OK I have it... as Poss (not to be confused with our cat Possum) a bit weak isn't it but it will have to do... for now

Poss is now 3 weeks old and doing great. Still in hospital as she's been on tube feeds but we're slowly introducing more and more breast feeds. She's growing! Cracked the 2 kilo mark last Wednesday which is awesome.

We're all flat out at the moment, the groundhog day refers to the repetition of how our days pan out, there is no distinction between weekdays and weekends, every day is the same. Every morning I'm up at 6 to express milk (oh the fun... not!) then get us all ready to leave the house by 8, drop LM at childcare (or to the inlaws) then Hubby & I race into the hospital (usually just over an hours drive in peak hour traffic) for a 9:30 feed. We're usually out by 11, go for lunch then try to get some Christmas shopping done (what a nightmare), back for a 3:30 feed and race home to pick up LM from childcare then try to throw together something remotely nutritious for dinner, do a load of laundry, express more goddamn milk and straighten the house up somewhat. That last bit is very basic straightening up mind you, I'm not bloody wonder woman!

Oh and the bills have started to arrive so some time needs to be spent on the PC with banking and filling out of medicare forms etc, so much fun I tell you. After that my interest in emails & blogs, TV even! is sadly lacking.

I'm ignoring a lot of people but selfishness and focusing on immediate family is an utter necessity right now. I hope everyone forgives me.

We are coping, as for myself I am relieved and surprised that I am doing so much better than when LM was born even though things were so much worse in so many ways with Poss' sudden arrival. It would be easier if we weren't all so tired but that comes with the territory and my expectations are not unrealistic.

It will all come together when Poss can come home, we don't ask when that might be as it's just one of those questions that doesn't have a solid answer. Like asking how long a piece of string is really :) We are just happy that she is doing so well and is in good hands

Guess I should show you what my new little darling looks like hey?

The definition of cute: Poss with her first teddy (the nurse set up this photo op for us just before we arrived one morning)

I will try to give you another update soon

the return

Hey...

Back again albeit briefly but wanted to announce the birth of my beautiful little girl on Friday 24th October.

Things went very pear shaped very quickly and my blood pressure did all sorts of awful things to me, hence a premature entry into the world for my cherub at 32 weeks. I'll explain it all later but it was by far more traumatic health wise than when Little Miss was born.

Bubs is well... now.... having had a hiccup with her breathing at 2 days old, the official term is pneumothorax but basically means she developed a tear in her lung which has taken a while to resolve. Obviously she will be in hospital for some time to come, until she can breathe completely unassisted and has the stamina to feed without the help of a gastric tube .

I am home now... obviously. Probably should have stayed in longer but couldn't bear the thought so the docs begrudgingly let me go under the proviso that if I had any trouble I'd come straight back.

I'm tired, in pain and have enormous feet but I'm happy

Will tell you all about it when I feel more equipped to do so

PS if you are wondering on the name we finally chose for baby, ping me an email and I just might tell ;)

please keep your feet elevated whenever possible...

still plugging away at home... BP high, feet are looking oh so sad now, almost hobbitty :)

saw my doc yesterday, she gave me some meds for high blood pressure, starting with the lowest dose and increasing as required

well i can tell you right now, we're going to have to up it already, the lowering effect only lasts an hour or so, take my reading outside of that time period and it's still as high as it was before.

doc has also got me having weekly CTG thingys (baby monitor stuff) and the midwife will take my BP when I'm there. first one is tomorrow so when she sees it is high she can let doc know and we can sort it out from there.

to be honest, as much as i like my obstetrician, her laid back attitude yesterday was a bit disconcerting and not just for me, Hubby felt it also. She seems confident that the meds will do their job and see me through to 38 weeks for my scheduled Caesar. Nice to be that confident I guess and I hope she's right but even though she says that high blood pressure in subsequent pregnancies (after a woman has had it in her first) is usually less severe, I have my doubts here. Still I want to believe...

Oh and joy of joys, I do indeed have gestational diabetes. Not an issue for me but for baby it's a bigger deal so I'm off to a diabetes consultant to find out all the do's and don'ts. I have a sinking feeling it ain't going to be fun :(

But we've had some relief, having sorted next week out in regards to keeping Little Miss occupied so I can stay off my feet. Sunday my friend will take her for at least a few hours, I know LM won't mind a bit as she loves her Auntie J and then we've snapped up vacancies at her childcare centre up until Friday. The centre is happy to make a spot available to us in following weeks if we need and MIL will be back from SA on the Saturday, so we have that as back up too.

I've come to accept that the house will not look ship shape for a while but we are eating, have clean laundry and the basics are getting done. Can't ask for more than that